#GetWellSoonYixing

I was online since 3pm yesterday...I  was reading fanfics just because I'm bored and playing candy crush on fb’s no fun anymore... but my tweetdeck’s still noisy... all because EXO appeared on Show Champion to perform Wolf... streaming links were posted by various EXO fansites so as to help other fans who wants to see them perform...

I was too absorbed reading fics and I wasn't really in the mood to stream... plus the fact that my net connection’s crappy when it comes to streaming... I don’t know if I should be happy that I didn't watch them perform live at that same moment or not? Coz they won their 4^th win... and I didn't get to see them receive the award on the spot... but still I was.. I am happy... I am proud of them... I even switched to my twitter accountt for a minute just to trend #EXO4thWin and continued my reading...but then...

#GetWellSoonYixing & other posts regarding Lay was popping out of my lappy’s screen... I was distracted.. I switched my asianfanfic tab to my twitter... and there it goes...

Lay got injured during the performance... and he apologized to fans.

Goddamnit!

I clicked the youtube clip but I didn't play it.. I prolonged the agony of watching him get hurt because I can't bear it... 5 long hours had past when I got the courage to watch it... and I wish I didn't...

He did really slipped... and he was not performing the way he used to be... pain was evident in his face... his movements... even in his voice when he sang his part...  at some point, he was biting his lips, obviously from so much pain...

I may sound a bit dramatic here but hell! I can’t stop my tears from falling as I watch him struggle to continue performing on stage even if the pain was killing him... and damn him and his pure heart for apologizing to fans for his lacking.

I know he can’t read & understand this and even get to see this post but what the heck!

Yixing...please, stop apologizing. It wasn't your fault. It’s an accident.  Much as we like to see you perform like a wolf.. a beast.. a dancing machine... your health is much more important. They said that unicorns can heal people... but you can't heal yourself right? So please...Get well soon, my lovely unicorn.

credits as tagged

That Certain Feeling

Like a déjà vu...

It probably started with my fascination towards finding out who sang my favorite line on EXO's Angel. I was convincing myself it was Lay's. I searched for fancams of their live performances on youtube. I found some and my question was answered...

It wasn't Lay... it's Luhan's voice.

I hate his eyes... it freaks me out...

I hate his stare... it sends chill down my spine...

I hate his smile... there was just something wicked behind those lips...

But...

I heard his voice... his SOULFUL voice...

And I know I'm doomed for the rest of my life.

The boy who didn't even get a tiny bit of my attention...the boy I disliked coz of his creepy eyes and stares... have a voice of an angel.

Maybe because I made it as my lullaby, that when one morning, I found myself wandering why I dreamed of Luhan.

And one thing lead to another..

He must have tread on the path Leeteuk walked on... the path that's says "the more you hate, the more you love"... coz he just made it to my namja neomu yeppeo list and Yixing isn't really happy about it. XD

CAUGHT IN A TRAP

Four years...

For 4 years, I thought I was okay... that I was fine... that I had moved on... that Super Junior have managed to make me forget... the regret, the pain, the face. That loving 15 men, even if they were so far away, was better than loving a person who was there by your side but never really sees you... that liking 15 men would compensate everything.

But I never imagined that one of them will bring back the past that I thought I have overcome...

Biting my lips... feeling that nauseous sensation as tears slowly forms in my eyes. A moment later, I found myself wiping those salty tears as they fall on my cheeks... just because Henry Lau made me feel things I shouldn't be feeling anymore...

Bittersweet memories that I thought I have forgotten a long time ago... blurred faces becoming clear once more... and the wound that I thought have healed seemed to open once again... all because of that one song.

I could just close the player and walk away... I could just turn off my laptop and get myself busy reading books or even watch tv... but no...If only I could just stop torturing myself, I would... but I can’t... not when I’m trapped with Henry’s voice.