#GetWellSoonYixing

I was online since 3pm yesterday...I  was reading fanfics just because I'm bored and playing candy crush on fb’s no fun anymore... but my tweetdeck’s still noisy... all because EXO appeared on Show Champion to perform Wolf... streaming links were posted by various EXO fansites so as to help other fans who wants to see them perform...

I was too absorbed reading fics and I wasn't really in the mood to stream... plus the fact that my net connection’s crappy when it comes to streaming... I don’t know if I should be happy that I didn't watch them perform live at that same moment or not? Coz they won their 4^th win... and I didn't get to see them receive the award on the spot... but still I was.. I am happy... I am proud of them... I even switched to my twitter accountt for a minute just to trend #EXO4thWin and continued my reading...but then...

#GetWellSoonYixing & other posts regarding Lay was popping out of my lappy’s screen... I was distracted.. I switched my asianfanfic tab to my twitter... and there it goes...

Lay got injured during the performance... and he apologized to fans.

Goddamnit!

I clicked the youtube clip but I didn't play it.. I prolonged the agony of watching him get hurt because I can't bear it... 5 long hours had past when I got the courage to watch it... and I wish I didn't...

He did really slipped... and he was not performing the way he used to be... pain was evident in his face... his movements... even in his voice when he sang his part...  at some point, he was biting his lips, obviously from so much pain...

I may sound a bit dramatic here but hell! I can’t stop my tears from falling as I watch him struggle to continue performing on stage even if the pain was killing him... and damn him and his pure heart for apologizing to fans for his lacking.

I know he can’t read & understand this and even get to see this post but what the heck!

Yixing...please, stop apologizing. It wasn't your fault. It’s an accident.  Much as we like to see you perform like a wolf.. a beast.. a dancing machine... your health is much more important. They said that unicorns can heal people... but you can't heal yourself right? So please...Get well soon, my lovely unicorn.

credits as tagged

That Certain Feeling

Like a déjà vu...

It probably started with my fascination towards finding out who sang my favorite line on EXO's Angel. I was convincing myself it was Lay's. I searched for fancams of their live performances on youtube. I found some and my question was answered...

It wasn't Lay... it's Luhan's voice.

I hate his eyes... it freaks me out...

I hate his stare... it sends chill down my spine...

I hate his smile... there was just something wicked behind those lips...

But...

I heard his voice... his SOULFUL voice...

And I know I'm doomed for the rest of my life.

The boy who didn't even get a tiny bit of my attention...the boy I disliked coz of his creepy eyes and stares... have a voice of an angel.

Maybe because I made it as my lullaby, that when one morning, I found myself wandering why I dreamed of Luhan.

And one thing lead to another..

He must have tread on the path Leeteuk walked on... the path that's says "the more you hate, the more you love"... coz he just made it to my namja neomu yeppeo list and Yixing isn't really happy about it. XD

TOO ABSORBED FOR MY OWN GOOD

It probably started when I was hunting/searching for live performances of EXO-M for their song Angel (Into Your World)...

It was because I was trying to find fancams focusing on Lay so that I can convince myself that it was his voice and not Luhan’s that singing my favorite lines. But one thing lead to another... it was either few fancams offers Lay focus or I was just having a bad luck finding one. So I settled with a video close to what I was searching for.

It was their performance during KCon where they sang History & Angel... and my feels just went at its highest...

No offense meant to Tao bias who might read this but hell! I can’t stop laughing of how awkward he danced during his part. It was cute though & I can’t help but think that he’s like Siwon in some ways, in dancing I mean... (Thank goodness, he wasn’t like that anymore with their comeback. He was really good in their WOLF performance.) And I was surprised on how my eyes followed Kris most of the time. It must be his husky voice... I really find his rapping skills & drawl so sexy. I can’t even describe how I feel whenever I hear his bedroom-like voice. *sigh*

And so the part I was waiting for came... it was their Angel performance that came next...

Chen was just really awesome... his vocal prowess was just great for the lack of the right word to describe it. I can clearly imagine him singing OST’s in the future like Yesung. And Xiumin should have longer lines/parts, as well as Lay, for they were not just good in dancing but singing as well. And yeah, Luhan, sang my favorite lines.

It wasn’t Lay but Luhan...

They somewhat have the same voice range so I was really confused. And as much I don’t want to admit it, Luhan and his smile while singing that ballad caught me off-guard. He was like emitting good feels that I found myself smiling while indulging myself with their voices. But don’t get me wrong, okay?!?!

Lay will always be my namja neomu yeppeo #1 in EXO. It’s just that great singers are one of my weaknesses... and Luhan proved to be one of them. He has that “something” in his voice... and the way he sings was really unique. It wasn’t that kind that’ll give you goosebumps or whatever. The way he delivers the songs was like he was acting in a melodrama... full of emotions. I guess, SOULFUL must be the right word for it.

I was too absorbed with Luhan (& Kris) that my eyes were having a hard time finding its way back to Yixing. But it’s good though... knowing that these kids boys are on the right track towards success just like their SJ hyungs.

Into Your World

All along, I thought, Super Junior songs, especially their ballad ones, can moved me. But I was wrong...

It was hard. It was unexpected. And I found myself crying over it... the words, the melody... it was just too beautiful...

All along, I thought, Super Junior songs' the only one that can motivate the writer in me to make a fanfic... But I was wrong...

It was a coincidence. It was inevitable. And I found myself reading the new plot I have made in the middle of the night just to be sure I wasn't dreaming...

I wasn't... it was fitting... it was like the song was the fic's OST...and I realized, I was crying...

Tears just can't help but fall probably because the fic I was planning on posting after I'm done with the Donghae lead fic was Lay's story... and I'm just so overwhelmed with emotions I can't explain because it was like the song was made for it...

I was done with the plot, the characters, the genre...everything... when I found the song on youtube as I was writing my on-going fic... I was out of words...of ideas... & I decided to watch EXO perfs to kill time... hoping to get my mind on track... and switching to Youtube that moment was the best random thing I've done that time... or else I wouldn't get to find this...

It was one of the best ballad song I've heard in my life... not because it was EXO or Kpop... not just because hearing Lay's voice was too precious... not just because Chen blown me away with his vocal prowess... or Luhan's... or Xiumins'... but because the song was simply beautiful.

Beautiful wasn't even the right word to describe it... no perfect words can describe how I felt when I heard it & learned the lyrics...the meaning of the song. Addicted? Yes... I was drawn into their world.

And I just can't get over the goosebumps. I would have to play it over and over again.

The Unexpected U...nicorn

"The only thing that should surprise us is that there are still some things that can surprise us."-Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

Funny how I have to eat my words that I won't like and won't have any other bias from KPop idol groups aside from Super Junior...but life sure is full of surprises.

A year. That's how long I've been away from the fandom & the cyberspace due to studies. I have to cut myself off from all of it to concentrate on my thesis. And probably because I know that there's nothing out there that can hold me back. Heechul's away. Jungsoo too. No reason for me to stay. Or so I thought.

That entire year felt like forever and the only thing that keep me sane was Donghae's face. He was like the only thing that made me stay in the fandom...just joking :) Even though Leeteuk & Heechul were missing coz of their army duties, I will always be an ELF. It's just that I have find myself smitten by Prince Lee Donghae...It was fun though. It never occurred to me that I'll find the other half of my fave otp, irresistible.

He always look good, cute, squishy, you name it...in my eyes, but I didn't paid that much attention to him coz I always see him as the other half of Eunhyuk. The EUNHAE couple. My favorite otp (one true pairing). So I was really having a hard time admitting to myself that I like him more than before. And Yesung was like "Why am I suddenly become your #5?" LOL!

The admission's the hard part but the realization of liking another man from the group isn't. Besides, what's the use of having 15 men in one group if you'll only like one?!? Just like the saying goes, "If the cat's away, the mouse will play." ㅋㅋㅋ So be it. It's the same group I love anyway. But unexpected things really do happen. The year that I was away was also the year another group from SM Entertainment debuted. 

EXO. A 12 member South Korean-Chinese boy band with 2 sub-groups, Exo-M & Exo-K. One man short from Super Junior with 13 members...2 men short from Super Junior with Zhoumi & Henry. Am I rattled?!?No... I'm way passed the stage where a fan should be pissed off with new group/s that'll threaten the status of the band he/she supports. I believe I'm mature enough to accept the fact that younger generations of idol group will come our way. It's how the entertainment industry works anyway, especially the KPop Music Industry.

When EXO has been the talk of the town, or rather the Kpop world, I wasn't really into it. Sure, I accept them wholeheartedly but I never paid attention to what and who are they. My eyes and my heart's glued only to SJ. But one particular event made me notice them for real. I won't elaborate on it..just read here...coz just remembering it makes my blood level high T_T

So yeah, I got curious with the group and then one day I found myself liking a particular member...Oh Sehun. I just found him way too cute with his "bbuing, bbuing" & that tounge of his. But as much as I want to indulge myself with EXO, I can't. Sure, I was searching infos & stuff, but I don't know why I can't seem to memorize or remember even half of what I've read. Even their faces were all blurred. Plus the fact that my thesis is more important than them.

I cut myself off from all of it...again. Thesis deadline was on the way that time & I have to focus. But then Christmas time came and it only meant one thing. Year-end performances from 3 major networks in South Korea. I told myself, "It's vacation so I have all the right to do anything." And so I did...or else  I wouldn't be able to revive my interest on EXO but this time it's not Sehun who caught my attention.

I'm a sucker for bedimpled boys/men... that's why I was blown away when I first saw Jungsoo...I'm very vocal about it right? And I thought it was only Leeteuk that could do that to me...but I was very wrong... The moment I saw the SM Performance unit performed Spectrum on SBS Gayo Daejun, I can't help but follow a certain guy.

Never in my wildest imagination that somebody can make me do what I did when I first saw Leeteuk. All along, I thought he's the first & last man that could make me feel something stir inside my heart. And it's so easy for me to admit to myself that I'm falling each and every day to this particular boy.

Lay. Zhang Yixing.

He's handsome for the lack of the right word to say about his almost perfect profile. He's uber talented. He composes songs. He plays the guitar & the piano. He dances really, really good. I can't even describe what I felt when I saw him in that performance. Donghae was there, but why did Lay have my eyes on him all the time?

I really can't pinpoint what it is...probably because his innocence got me...or the air of mystery that surrounds him...or maybe I'm just caught off-guard with his bedimpled smile, the way Jungsoo made me fall for him... or maybe he's just freaking awesome & talented & everything...I don't really know.

One thing I'm sure of is that, this wonderful feeling is unexpected. Maybe because mythical creature like a unicorn have the power to make a mere human feel this way.